Quotes Part 2

Ok, one more I meant to add in:

“Well the thing I find most amazing / In amazing grace / Is the chance to give it out / Maybe that’s what love is all about? / I wish you could see me now / I wish I could show you how / I’m not who I was.” – Brandon Heath (I’m Not Who I Was)

Quotes

I’ve written more this weekend and thought more this weekend about my life and especially my faith than I have perhaps cumulatively over the past 6 months. So I’m a bit drained in the thinking department. So I’m going to leverage the power of others thoughts I found while exploring this weekend that cover the range of emotions and thoughts I’m experiencing right now (to some extent). I’ll get back into original writing as soon as I’m able to adequately put words back down on paper in an appropriate way…. for now, as I sit here with a cuddly cat snuggled up beside me, here’s some quotes that have stood out for me. Peace everyone. I’ll be back as soon as I can..

“When sorrows come – they come not single spies – but in battalions.” – Hamlet

[Standing by the water's edge, feet sinking as the ocean pulls the sand out from under your feet and you feel like you will fall forever..], “…when the last grain of sand is gone, you’re going to discover that you’re standing on a rock.” – Brian Jones “Second Guessing God”

“You will lead me by the right hand, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.” – Thomas Merton

“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise Him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” – James 5:15-16

One Step Closer…

This has been a rough month for blogging, there’s been alot going on.  Don’t worry, I’m not giving up on blogging.   (Not that anyone has that much spare time to worry about that sort of thing…)

But there is an adoption update I wanted to pass along to those playing the online edition of “Crazy Family Drama – Modern Warfare 2″.  All of our paperwork has been submitted to the courts – so now it’s just a waiting game to see how long the courts take to process everything.  In *theory*, we should be done really soon.  But given the bumps along the way, I’m not totally holding my breath that we’re out of the woods yet.  But we seem to be closer every day.  I would be remiss if I didn’t say that of late, my parents have been really on the active side of pushing this through.  And that’s really encouraging, because for a while it did feel like it was all me.   But for now…

A little more waiting… but with a little more encouragement that things are moving forward.  A very common theme in my life right now on SO many fronts.

Until then, I will keep doing something I am terrible at doing:  waiting.  But for whatever reason, God is finding 100 different ways for me to learn about patience in life right now.  (And for the record, I never asked for patience… we all know that’s a mistake!)  I really hate waiting.  I’m really bad at it.  I get impatient.  I want to take control.  I want to give up.  I create crazy scenarios in my head that just aren’t based in reality or fact.  And perhaps worst of all… I get scared.   It takes every ounce of faith I have to wait on so many things in my life – but the reality is, God has embedded Himself in my life like never before.  And though I am weak, and by no means perfect, I know at the end of each day when I journal with God, that He will bring me through it all.  And though I may spend the next entire day afraid, uncertain, upset, hurt, or worse – while I wait for so many things – I have constant reassurance that God’s will is being done and that He is using this time of waiting for a reason.

I also have to remember that part of waiting is sometimes wanting.  And I have to remind myself that while wanting something is not at all bad, God has not ceased to bless me with alot already in my life, and He doesn’t want my life to stop or become paralyzed in any way while I wait.  I need to constantly remind myself that I am blessed and that I have things to do now while I wait to serve God… at work, at home, with my friends, with my family, in my community, etc.   Because I am seriously blessed.  I don’t think anyone would dispute that fact!

The Great Smiley Hiatus

Over the past few weeks, a significant number of friends (seriously, I’m actually not making this up) have expressed to me that I may have Excessive Online Happiness Syndrome (EOHS).  Sometimes this is confused with it’s cousin, S3 – Spurious Smiley Syndrome.  Symptoms of this much more serious, but very real online-personality-misorder are somewhat difficult to track, but the following are sure signs (apparently) that someone you know and love may be suffering from EOHS:

• Excessive use of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! marks – to the point that no one takes you seriously.
• Excessive use of “?!” or “!?” combos – to the point that everyone thinks you manic.
• Excessive use of , , , or – to the point that everyone just thinks you’re covering something else up.
• Over abundant use of “LOL”, “ROTFL”, “LMAO”.
• Others?  The Internet has not been around long enough to capture the extent of this yet.  (Side note:  Although some archeologists contend that this perilous condition has existed since all the way back in Ancient Egypt – when excessive use of spears in heiroglyphics was often considered ingenuine and potentially used as an attempt to inflate one’s eternal legacy and help in increased credibility in the afterlife.  True story.)

So, to combat this serious issue, I am pledging to take a One Month Smiley Hiatus.  Just to help restore some balance to my online personna.  As such, I pledge the following:

• I will use no smiley’s of any type in blog posts, blog comments, blog pages, etc.
• I will use no smiley’s in email communications.
• I will use no smiley’s in Instant Messanger conversations.
• I will not use smiley’s in text messages.
• I will continue to never use phrases like “LOL”, “ROTFL”, and “LMAO”.  Instead, I will begin use of corrective phrases to establish healthier habits including: “Somberly Thinking Inside” (SNI), “Calmly Grinning on The Inside (CGOTI)”, and of course “Gritting Not Grinning (GNG)”.
• I will limit all use of exclamation points.
• I will not apply more than one exclamation mark per paragraph or 5 lines of IM communications.
• I will not use more than one exclamation mark at a time.

I appreciate all of your support in this.  The good news is, I’m working a proposal at work for the next 5-7 days, so the chances I will be smiling all that much are slim to none.  Which is a shame, because I’ve actually been the morale booster on this proposal effort – having alot of fun.  But for my own good, I want to correct issues when they arise.  At the rate I was going, I was bound to have included text in my proposal that included “We love this work!!! Buy our services! LOL!  J/K!!!!” or something completely unprofessional like that.  That could be a career breaker right there.  And I’ve worked too hard to let that sort of thing happen.

I have no doubt that I will mess up – and I am confident that my closest friends will call me out without hesitation.  All out of love, certainly. 

[Damn!  This is going to be harder than I thought...  Ok, one month starts ..  :-   ...  NOW!]

I Have the Greatest Friends … Ever.

I have the greatest friends..  ever.  Seriously, I do.  It’s not simply hyperbole on my part.  God has blessed me with the best friends I’ve ever had and on days like today I am reminded of how special my friends are.  My friends all pitched in today to help install SIX new windows for my parents.  They sacrificed the majority of their Saturday’s to stand on ladders/scaffolding risking their necks, get covered in sticky spray foam, get things dropped on their heads, get their middle fingers bent crooked, and so much more.  And while technically it was a favor for another one of their friends (who is also one of my best friends – my cousin Andy), it felt like as much a favor to me as it did to him, since it was my parents.  I’m super glad that they are all willing to support Andy like they did today – it meant so much to Andy I’m sure to know he has such great support.  But it also meant alot to me, and I’m incredibly thankful for all of their help.  I never want to take their friendship for granted – because it does mean so much to me.

I have so many things to be thankful for in my life, every single day.  Today, my friends really blessed my day by being so giving of their time and energy.  So a big “public” thanks on my part to Andy,  Ethan, Fred, Kim and Chuck for being so generous with their time.  I would be remiss if I didn’t say a special thanks to Andy – who really did organize the whole project and has put all of the planning effort into making this successful for my parents.  I really cherish days like today – and as always, I had alot of laughs and fun along the way.  Thanks everyone, you are without a doubt – the best.  A nice bottle of scotch and a nice bottle of gin are on me sometime soon when we can all hang out together!  And maybe even some cigars or pipes, too (even though technically it’s not smoking season yet)!  Cheers and thanks again!    Hope you have a great night!

Happy Carpet Day!

So… first off, my allergies are finally kicking my tail right into the ground.  So this will be a short update post – and part of the reason for my lack of updates lately.   But there’s big enough news to warrant a quick update.

New carpet installed today – and it looks great!  Andy and I finished up the finishing touches (e.g. swapping electrical outlets from beige to white, new doorknobs and hinges to match rest of the house, arranging furniture, etc.) tonight – and with a huge sigh of relief, I can basically say that 8 years of 174 LFC renovations are COMPLETE!  Fresh neutral paint on all the walls, new flooring throughout the house, consistent hardware and electrical features, each room furnished (and soon to be organized)…  it’s amazing that it took this long, but it hasn’t felt that long. Probably because there was always another project to take on.  [Moment of honest: Technically there is still a bathroom to be updated - but that will be on hold for a while since it's in ok shape. Sorry Dan.]  I’ll post pictures soon I hope.

The bottom line is – there are no major half finished projects left in major parts of the house for the first time.  And it’s so awesome to just feel like I can sit back and be proud of my house and enjoy it.   That is a great feeling.  One I will enjoy..  for at least another few weeks until I get the itch to take on something new.  Trust me, there’s a list of nice to have’s – I’m just ignoring it for now! 

Now I’m going to cough and sniffle my way up to bed.  I wish I could smell the new carpet smell – but perhaps it’s best that I can’t.  Hehe.  G’night everybody.

P.S. – Also, a very Happy 74th Birthday to my dear mom today!  (Not that she reads this, but that’s ok.)

Adoption Signatures!

I have in my hand copies of the letters that need to be signed as the “final” step in the adoption process! Merle took a look at the draft medical documents I created (with many thanks to Kim for assistance) and thought they looked professionally prepared. She asked my dad whether or not a lawyer had prepared them. I told my dad to tell her yes and that his other lawyer (me) would be sending her an invoice in the near future. I guess I missed my calling (Kim – I’ll give you and Fred a 20% cut if Merle pays up). Turns out my parents doctors already had their own letters they were willing to write – so it was a bit of a futile effort in the end. But oh well. At least we have letters now!

In any event, I have in hand all of the paperwork requiring my signature. My signatures need to be witnessed by someone who is not my parents (nor the people adopting me – which in this case is pretty much one in the same). I need to have those back to Merle as soon as possible so she can have them filed with the courts. My parents are moving much slower – but I’m still impressed that my dad is making independent moves on his own and keeping me in the loop alot more. My mom seems to be the slow mover here – not totally unexpected. I still don’t think they 100% understand why I’m asking them to do this, but regardless I keep thanking them and encouraging them. I’m trying to give them insight into how much this whole thing has already eased family tensions in my own mind. I want them to know that I forgive them – and to encourage them to do the right thing with this situation moving forward. I do appreciate what they are doing – particularly at their age. At the end of the day, my mom did confess to me something that had probably weighed on her conscience about my adoption – and I admire her for having the strength to do that. I love my mom dearly – so of course I forgive her. And I forgive and love my dad too.

I just bought my dad and I really great seats to an Orioles game in May. It’s a day game – I’m taking the day off work and I’m going to take my dad out to lunch downtown and have a blast with him at the game. I’m even going to get him and I Orioles jersey’s to have and wear. It will be the first game I’ve gone to with my dad in over 3 years! We used to go to at least one if not more games every year since I was five. That was a tradition I don’t want to give up – and one that means alot to me.

In any event, I still don’t have a date in place yet, but we are honestly making progress. It’s always slower than I want, but I just can’t get discouraged. We SEEM to have everything in place now – but I’ve felt like that before. I’ve learned alot about patience and waiting for God to make things happen in his time. Waiting is so hard to do, and I never get used to it. It’s not in my nature. But God is reminding me that I can’t have everything exactly when I want it – which is a really tough lesson to learn. I, like alot of us these days, am built on the power and expectation of immediate gratification. I don’t expect to wait for anything good – I expect it to be immediately available to me 24/7. I’m part of Generation Entitled. I don’t feel like I deserve just anything when I want it – I feel like I deserve what I want when I want it. I pray alot about that these days – God has found alot a million great ways to make me more dependent on Him and less on myself and others. It’s a really great feeling – but still never easy. I’m just not built for patience. Which is why I never ask God for it – for fear he’ll make me wait more for something.

If anyone has some scripture they like in times requiring patience and enduring faith that God will deliver us, I’d love it if you shared them. It would be even better if you shared them with a little story about how they helped you, too. But I won’t push it.

Cheers!

Not Rooting For Tiger

I have alot more to say about this – but a quick note. I’m not rooting for Tiger today. It has less to do with *his* life drama. It has to do with someone else.

I’m rooting for Phil Mickelson today. While Tiger had the press glued to him this past 6 months, Phil has endured more and come out on top in my mind. Now – I am cautious – I have no idea the true character of Phil and I think we are all a little skeptical. But over the past year, Phil’s wife Amy and his mother have gone through significant bouts with cancer. Phil took time off golf and has said repeatedly that he has been distracted by it tremendously. This year his whole family is in Augusta – wife, kids, and mother. And when I saw an interview with him this week, he just exuded pure joy. You know how you can just tell when someone is genuinely happy in life by the way they smile? You know how it’s kind of infectious? Phil had that. I liked that. It made me happier. So despite my desire to see my still favorite golfer (Tiger) win, this year I’m 110% behind Phil.

Tiger the golfer – not Tiger the human – is still my favorite golfer. Tiger the sinner gets my empathy and disappointment. But today – Phil is my man.

Go Phil!!!

Thursday Potpourri

It’s been a hectic week – tonight was the first night I’ve actually been home after work this week. So I’ve been a little neglectful on my blogging updates. My apologies to the blogosphere for my absenteeism. So I figured I’d just make this a few random things that I’ve had stored up in draft posts for a while plus some random news items. No real theme here – just some potpourri blog style!

Carpet!

After a couple of weeks of getting estimates, I (finally) ordered new carpet today! I went with Luna over Lowes and another private installer – Luna beat the highest price by HALF. Lowes wanted $5200 just to install 3.5 par rated carpet on my third and fourth floors – that included no haul away of old carpet and no furniture moving! Luna on the other hand – was willing to drop their price to $2500 specifically because my competing quote was with Lowes. I got 3.35 par rated carpet (par scale is 1-5… so above average) from Shaw with 6 pound padding (good quality), old carpet removal, furniture moving, AND a lifetime installation guarantee for half the price. I was pretty happy – apparently Luna is trying to make in-roads in my area. And I’m pretty happy my neighbor turned me on to them! OH, and one other thing about Lowes – they told me I needed to wait 3.5 – 4 weeks for delivery. Luna – offered to do it on Saturday!

Originally I was supposed to be out of town next week, so I thought I would have to push this back. But my trip was alas canceled today – so I was able to get scheduled for next Thursday! I’m super excited – I can’t really explain it. This will make my house feel whole again – and will be the last major project for a while (aside from the yard)! It will just be so nice to have all of the rooms painted (granted they are almost all neutral for right now) and new carpet through the top floors. I can’t wait!!!

Baseball

Tomorrow I’m going to the Orioles Opening Day! I’m actually pumped – I didn’t go to an Orioles game once last year. It was the first year since I was 5 that I didn’t go to a game. And I was especially bummed because I didn’t get to go to a game with my dad – something we’ve done at least once every year since I was 5. Although my dad won’t be going to Opening Day with me (I’m going with some guys from my team at work) – I just bought 2 tickets to a game in early May that I’m going to take off work for and just surprised my dad with. These are great seats too. When I told dad about them, I dare say he was almost giddy. Honestly, so was I – it’s not about the O’s for me. It’s about going to game with my dad and hanging out with him. I’m so blessed to have him in my life and to enjoy so many of the same things (not surprising considering he is my dad I guess). Although he did just kick my butt in our NCAA tournament pool – and won $125. Grr…

That. Just. Happened.

Finally, I was looking through pictures on my computer tonight and I remembered this video I took while on my cruise back in January with Josh. This is a video I took on Maho Beach in St. Maarten. I can’t really describe to you the experience – but I actually think this video I took does it at least some justice. I had forgotten my exclamation at the end of “That … was the coolest thing I’ve ever done!”. I kid you not, 5 minutes later I was doubled over on a bench convinced the noise had given me a concussion. Perhaps less cool at that point.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone – just a short post tonight. It was a beautiful Easter today, and I hope everyone had a great Easter in their own ways. I was really excited about Easter this year, and it didn’t really disappoint. This weekend I spent a great deal of time by myself reflecting on many different things. I’ve probably come up with a dozen blog posts this weekend if I really put my mind to it. But not tonight. Tonight I just want to wish everyone a Happy Easter!

G’night.